Hey . . . this is Betty . . . I know I’m normally the strong silent type, but I have to get something off my carriage . . .
I have watched Lady for a while now and have come to the conclusion that as crazy as she is, she’s basically a pretty nice person . . . I mean, I watch her helping little old ladies with their grocery bags [she has a thing for that – it’s weird] and I see her comforting Alfie when he’s shaking like a leaf, and she even loves on me occasionally, when she’s shining my armor, but there’s this thing that happens when she gets behind the wheel and it’s like . . .
” Namaste a**ho!e . . .
Yup . . . that’s right . . . there’s plenty of other words too, and then there’s fist beating on my steering wheel and an occasional foot stomp on my brakes . . . what gives?
I was chatting with Roger the other day – he’s a Travato with a permanent blush [do you think it’s me that makes him so] . . .
anyhoo . . . he was saying that this happens . . . a lot . . . with lots of normally level headed people that just loose their sh!t when driving [oh dear I guess it’s catchy],
but as we were flirting – uh chatting – it occurred to us that maybe it’s because people have become a little careless on the road . . . we see it all the time, with weaving and racing and last minute turns . . . and even multi lane harebrained crossings right before an intersection . . . gotta wonder what you guys are doing!
oh ya . . . and then there’s the need for some of you (you know who you are) to be like . . . right up my tailpipe!
C’mon ! . . . y’all see how much stuff she makes me haul around – I can’t stop that fast and I don’t appreciate you being that close !!!
I know I’m just a dainty thing, but sometimes I’m a little like a big rig . . . if you can’t see lady’s face in my mirror then she can’t see you . . .
so please help a sister out and give us some room on the road . . . otherwise she may make me wear a sign that says . . .
stay back . . . crazy lady driving !
( Roger thinks it would be a little more like . . . you’re too far up my [ahem] . . . back off ! )
Either way, I sure would appreciate a little help in this department, it’s sooo much more pleasant to have her humming little ditties when she’s driving than spewing out that ear splitting craziness . . .
ok . . . so that’s that . . . phew, I feel better now . . . wishing you all safe travels [ no matter how crazy it gets out there ]
PS: Lady ended up with this magnet on my rear end:
” I may look like a gazelle, but I weigh like a hippo, and I’m blind as a bat . . . just saying “
